I am a strong believer that every child has the right to know who their parents are no matter what the circumstances may be. BUT why does that seem easier said than done! All I wanted for you was for you to have this beautiful relationship with your father, to meet your other brother and sister so they could be a part of your life and for you to be a part of theirs. Why isn’t this possible?
From the beginning of this journey I knew that this wasn’t going to go the way I planned it. I hoped your dad would have been there every step of the way- from the scans, feeling you kick, going shopping and being there to watch your birth. Boy.. how wrong was I?
The minute I found out I was carrying you, I knew I was going to keep you, however not everyone felt the same.
Your dad said I should have an abortion.
He decided to be unfaithful and did not want to deal with the consequences of his actions, so throughout my pregnancy he was nowhere to be seen or heard.
On 10th April 2017, this 8lb beautiful boy was born. Out of excitement I informed your dad, but he never showed any interest. Fast forward to August 2017, for one reason or another I decided I would give him yet another chance to be in your life and I thought I saw the light at the end of the tunnel when he said he wanted to meet up.. to talk. Ok.
Minutes passed.. hours went by… hours flew by *tick tock* and he never showed up. Not even a call or a disappointing text.
Was I really being taken for a mug?
I blamed myself because I’m just too nice for my own good!
I thought that I was doing the right thing by giving him opportunity upon opportunity to be involved in his son’s life but clearlyyyyyyy- I was wasting my time as the only opportunity he took was to disappoint us again. I refuse for my son to be a ‘secret love child’ with people walking in and out of his life as and when convenient. He deserves way better than that so I’m done with reaching out.
I still believe that every child should know who their parents are, but I honestly can not force anyone to do anything they don’t want to. Father or not.
Maybe he won’t.
Who knows?! Right now, for my own sanity. I need to stop thinking about everyone else and just think about me and my boys because that’s all that matters in the end. It doesn’t really matter who isn’t doing what they should be doing as the fault does not lay with me. I can only ensure that I am being and doing everything I can for my family.
Love Mica Undiluted xxx